It's been awhile since I've written but I've been busy with health stuff. I've acquired another auto-immune disease. When I got diagnosed with Celiac disease my gastroenterologist told me it's common as auto-immune diseases tend to "cluster" as he put it. What is it? Do they get lonely and just need a friend to hang out with? Is their self-esteem diminished by our attempts to keep them at bay and they feel inadequate being alone? Strength in numbers, I guess.
Apparently, my friend Celiac got bored with me (or perhaps angry? disillusioned? taken for granted?) because I've been so good on this gluten-free diet thing. I don't know the reason why, it doesn't really talk to me anymore, but it decided to get a new pal, Sjogren's. No problem, I'm tough, I can handle it. I mean, I've got one already, what's one more? (Supposedly that's also said of children, but I still stopped at one). It's just that now the two of them, along with their sidekick Gastritis (who frankly is the gang leader in all this) get a real kick out of bullying me and I never know when they're going to strike. Like just this week, I ate something - I'm still trying to figure out what - and Gastritis totally goes off on me! Out of nowhere, sheesh! It's so sensitive. For the last two days I've been sipping on miso-spiked bone broth just get it to calm the eff down.
The problem with cliques like these is that they never want to be your friend. They enjoy singling out the weak ones to aim their wrath. I try to kill them with kindness and use honey rather than vinegar (literally) like I was taught. I try and use humor to get them to laugh and to like me. Don't smile, you'll crack your face!, I tell them, in what I think is a cute sing-songy voice that might make them giggle, but they refuse to show me any compassion. They just huddle together and look at me sideways, and I have no idea what they're saying. Then, out of nowhere, when I'm least expecting it - wham! - it's a one-two punch to the stomach.
I've had enough, I tell you. I am damn tired of taking the high road, of getting up each morning with a smile on my face and my brave you can do it, you can get through this day face on. No, from here on out it's war. So watch out, bitches, I'm bringing you down.